第四章 值日表

Xiao Mei's duty roster was posted on Wednesday evening.

A printed table was stuck on the fridge with a magnet. It read: Monday Xiao Mei, Tuesday A Kai, Wednesday Zhou Zhou, Thursday Miya... Each row also had a column for ratings: "Excellent, Good, Poor."

"This is an assessment," Xiao Mei said. "We evaluate once a month. Anyone who gets 'Poor' three times in a row has to buy bubble tea for the whole house."

A Kai looked at the table and asked, "What about those who get 'Excellent' three times in a row?"

"They keep sweeping the floor," Xiao Mei said.

A Kai: "..."

On Wednesday, it was Zhou Zhou's turn on duty.

On Thursday morning, Miya entered the living room and found a takeout box, snack bags, and a sock on the floor.

She glanced at the duty roster, then at the floor, took out a small notebook, and wrote: "Wednesday duty: Zhou Zhou. Result: one sock."

"Zhou Zhou," Miya said, walking to the door of Zhou Zhou's room. "It was your turn yesterday."

"I'm writing a paper," Zhou Zhou's voice came from inside the room.

"Can you sweep today, then?"

"I haven't finished the paper, so I can't." Zhou Zhou said. "Could you sweep for me? I'll treat you to bubble tea next time."

Miya thought for a moment and said, "No. We French believe that procedures mean everyone must do their own part."

The room fell silent for three seconds.

"...You French people are really troublesome," Zhou Zhou said.

Miya shook her head, returned to her room, put on an apron, turned on music on her phone, and started sweeping the floor.

"In France, when we clean, we play Mozart," she said to the living room. "Cleaning is also art."

A Kai passed by, glanced, and glanced again: "When you sweep, just sweep. Why play music?"

"It's about having a sense of ritual," Miya said.

"Could you turn the music down a bit? I'm editing a video."

"Okay," Miya said. "But we French think Mozart should be loud to feel right."

A Kai: "..."

On Friday, it was A Kai's turn. He swept the floor but live-streamed while sweeping.

"Family! Today's challenge is 'Roommate Sweeping'! See if I can sweep the whole living room in three minutes!"

He swept halfway, noticed Xiao Mei's duty roster, stopped, and said to the camera: "Look, everyone. This is our house's 'Duty Assessment Table.' Last week I got 'Poor' because I forgot on Wednesday."

Bullet comment: "A Kai, you've made it."

A Kai finished sweeping, put his phone on the table, took a photo and sent it to Xiao Mei: "Xiao Mei! I swept today! Give me an 'Excellent'!"

Xiao Mei replied: "The trash you swept is outside the trash bin."

A Kai looked down—the trash was indeed beside the trash bin.

"...A Kai silently picked it up and sent another message: "How about now?"

Xiao Mei: "Poor."

On Monday, Miya found three photos of A Kai on the fridge.

"What's this?" Miya asked.

"Duty reminders," Xiao Mei said. "A Kai forgot three times last week, so I put up three to remind him."

Under A Kai's photo, a line of text read: "This week's duty: Don't forget."

"This looks like..." Miya thought, "...a wanted poster from the French police."

"So I'm a fugitive?" A Kai shouted.

"You're a duty fugitive," Xiao Mei said.

Zhou Zhou laughed nearby, and Xiao Mei saw her.

"Zhou Zhou, what are you laughing at?" Xiao Mei said. "You also forgot twice last week. And—"

She opened Zhou Zhou's computer: "Your paper is still 0 pages today."

Zhou Zhou's smile froze.

"And," Xiao Mei opened Zhou Zhou's food delivery app, "this month, you've ordered 30 takeout orders. 30 orders."

"That's for research!" Zhou Zhou said.

"What research requires 30 takeout orders?" Xiao Mei asked. "Checking which bubble tea tastes best?"

"This can't go on," Miya said. "Let's have a formal meeting to discuss the duty issue."

"A meeting again?" A Kai said.

"Yes," Miya said. "And in France, important meetings require lighting candles."

She actually found two candles and lit them.

The four sat around the coffee table in the living room in the candlelight, like at an important international conference.

A Kai wanted to laugh but held it back: "Miya, are you sure we're having a duty meeting, not a birthday party?"

"It's about ritual," Miya said. "Now, each person says one problem and one solution."

Xiao Mei spoke first: "Problem: Some people always forget. Solution: Assessment."

Zhou Zhou said: "Problem: Too many papers. Solution: ...I'll definitely sweep next time."

A Kai said: "Problem: Live-streaming is too busy. Solution: I'll sweep while live-streaming."

Miya finished writing, thought, and said: "My solution: Whoever doesn't sweep has to order takeout for everyone."

Zhou Zhou's eyes lit up: "Order takeout?"

"Yes," Miya said. "Whoever forgets their duty pays for everyone's takeout."

"That's a great rule!" Zhou Zhou said. "I volunteer to sweep extra days!"

"You just said you had too many papers," Xiao Mei said.

"Papers can be written tomorrow, but takeout can't be eaten tomorrow!" Zhou Zhou said.

The meeting ended, and the candles were blown out.

As A Kai cleaned up, he said to Miya quietly: "Miya, you know, that 'candlelight meeting' of yours would be great for streaming."

"So?"

"Next meeting, you light candles and I'll stream it! The title will be '302 Candlelight Meeting'!"

Miya looked at him seriously: "A Kai, can you live-stream anything?"

A Kai thought: "...Not exactly. For example, I don't stream when I'm taking a shower."

Miya nodded, took out her notebook, and wrote:

"A Kai said he doesn't live-stream when taking a shower."